estara_adf

Finding myself in ADF

2008-03-23T18:03:30Z

So...now what?

I'm still in the process of figuring out the relationships between what I am capable of, and what I am and what I can be <i>in the ADF context.</i> I know I'm theoretically capable of being a bard, liturgist, seer, warrior, presiding priest, scholar - but do I want to wear all of those hats in ADF, or only some? Which ones? So far, the only level on which I've really had much chance to strut my stuff in Awen's Breath is bardic - in a setting where people chant a lot, they'll eventually notice if you can actually sing. :D But there aren't such automatic opportunities to show that you know how to read the omens, or carry in the energy, or protect the space. And I'm less sure of how to create opportunities in the setting of public rituals - it seems pushy. Maybe this is a disadvantage of not living particularly close to one's Grovemates - less chances to see each other on other than the ritual days themselves, and learn about each other.

Anyway - pursuant to bardic being where I've been able to put myself out there thus far - I wrote two liturgical songs that I've given to Illious. I may post the lyrics here at some point soon.

Good things come, etc, etc.

2008-01-24T04:14:46Z

My DP has been approved. Yay!

Another keeper

2008-01-17T00:05:38Z

From Update on the Aryan Invasion Debate, by Koenraad Elst. Am I selectively posting articles that support my views? Absolutely! :D

http://www.bharatvani.org/books/ait/ch47.htm

I shall write Vedic rituals one day, oh friends. And I shall worship Indra.

Looking Temerously Forward

2008-01-14T17:30:30Z

Okay, I'm pretty sure that my paper against Swinburne (for Philosophy of Religion) can, with a proper bibliography tacked on, cover the "argument" half of the Research and Composition requirement for the GP. I'd just need an expository paper. If at some point I were to get past the DP, I could make pretty quick work of that. :D I think I could do likewise with Mythology and Divination - but not, interestingly, General Bardic or Magic, necessarily. (The focus is on history rather than practice in those, and a particular kind of history.)

Good things come to those who wait. Right?

2008-01-14T17:02:41Z

My DP edits are turned in, so I'm back to waiting to hear back about whether they now make the cut. (I'm hoping that I was only asked for several because of my request to Raven that it be judged with an eye toward going for IP or CTP somewhere down the line, since I didn't want to have to do a whole assignment over again at some vague future date. I'm still not sure what my goal is in the long term, but I do know I will want those options to be open to me.)

Part 3 of same

2008-01-11T22:54:21Z

So...yesh. Chewing on this a lot. Sadly, a lot of portions of interest consist mostly of references to other works. Of course, that at least gives one an idea of other works to look for...but a lot of them are old. And/or in German.

Even the solemn S’rauta rituals contain a number of elements that we might (quite possibly wrongly) construe as "popular": such items as horse chariot races and bow shooting at New Year, public riddles, often involving sexual banter and even public intercourse of two "outcastes", a prostitute (mahânagnikâ) and a Mâgadha man, at the same rites, further singing and dancing at the summer solstice, etc. (Me: some of which sounds tantalizingly like Saktist practice.)

...

New gods also arise in this period, e.g. the rather colorless Prajâpati (cf. above; see Gonda, 1984, 1986, 1989), S’iva (developed from the horrifying lord of cattle, Rudra Pas’upati), S’rî (in the appendix to the RV, ®gvedakhila 2.6), or Brahmâ (masc.) from the abstract conception bráhman (ntr.), etc. Bhaga remains a popular god of good luck whom one seeks far away (apparently in trade); "Luck is blind" (andho hi bhaga) says a proverb (KaThÂ 2.222). (Me: this quote identifies the rise of Shiva with the middle Vedic period, which they do not yet identify with Hinduism. I don't know where people usually draw the line between the two: a topic for further research.)

...

We know very little about actual popular worship during this period. Occasionally we can gather some glimpses in the G®hyasûtras (and then, mostly from their later parts) and or the -often post-Vedic- appendixes to the S’rautasûtras. These contain sections dealing with the worship of particular gods, such as Rudra/Mahâdeva/Îs’âna, ViSNu/NârâyaNa, S’rî, Durgâ e.g. in the Baudhâyana G®hyas’eSasûtra or the Atharvaveda Paris’iSTa. The question in each case remains how old these appendixes are. In these little studied texts, we clearly see the emergence of post-Vedic pûjâ, with its emphasis on the personal worship of a particular god of the pantheon. As has been mentioned briefly above, it should be stressed that this level of popular worship is a clear continuation of the ®gvedic guest worship offered to the gods (Witzel 1980a:37-39), a feature that has only been obscured but not eliminated by the elaborate S’rauta ritual. The function of pûjâ as guest reception is essentially still known today, e.g. to Bengali country people, see A. Östör (1982).

...

Apart from this we get tantalizing glimpses of what may have been aberrant behavior, perhaps early Tantra, in the AB 7.13, cf. also the notions about the Gosava ritual. Compare, finally RV s’iSNadeva, mûladeva. There is, however, no connection with the so-called S’iva on some Harappa seals (D. Srinivasan 1984). Nothing much for a connection with Vedic beliefs can be deduced from the few seemingly religious objects found in the Indus civilization. Notably the remnants of so-called fire rituals at Kalibangan may represent nothing more than a community kitchen. (Me: Against the usual notion that Shiva is an indigenous transplant. These authors treat Him as essentially Vedic, though late to gain primary importance.)

Vedic ritual, part 2

2008-01-11T22:30:56Z

Another big long quote (it's okay, really - the whole book is online at http://www.people.fas.harvard.edu/%7Ewitzel/VedicHinduism.htm ), in its entirety in a separate post because it's especially important to a main sticking point for me, the nature of the transition from Vedism to Hinduism and all that implies for modern recon.

The UpaniSads are often treated as the beginning of a tradition, the founding texts of Vedânta philosophy (and, to much lesser degree, as the necessary precursor to early Buddhist and Jain thought). But it is at least as accurate to view them as the almost inevitable outcome of the intellectual development we have been discussing. The system of homologies, the mystical identifications, remain the intellectual underpinning of these new texts -- the identifications simply become more esoteric and more all-encompassing. Such questioning had been going on during the whole YV Saπhitâ and the BrâhmaNa period, only it was more hidden, e.g. behind the statement "some say..." In fact, intellectual exchange was going on inside the schools and between them all of the time, as the frequent quotation of divergent views in the brâhmaNa type texts clearly indicates. S’B, especially, bears witness to this by habitually discussing various "solutions" to a problem.

Moreover, the ritual itself, though its actual performance seems less a concern, increasingly becomes the subject of similar identifications. On the one hand, the ritual becomes interiorized: non-physical counterparts are suggested for ritual actions and objects, so that the ritual can be performed entirely mentally (cf. the prâNâgnihotra, Bodewitz 1973). Moreover, not only the simple objects used in ritual, but also whole sections of the ritual, particular recitations, and finally even complete rituals come to have cosmic counterparts (e.g. the horse of the horse sacrifice in BÂUK 1.1). This is accompanied by an increasing use of multiple identifications (A. Benke 1976). So, as the actual physical performance of the elaborate Vedic rituals seems to decline --at least with some part of the (Brahmanical) population-- the concept and structure of ritual spawn intense intellectual activity (including also among some KSatriyas and women, cf. Oldenberg 1915, Renou 1953a, Horsch 1966, Witzel 1989a).

The UpaniSads then do not represent a break with the intellectual tradition that precedes them, but rather a heightened continuation of it, using as raw material the religious practices then current (Renou 1953a). What makes the UpaniSads seem more different than they actually are from the BrâhmaNas and even from the ÂraNyakas, which contain similar speculative and "mystical" material, is their style. The BrâhmaNas and the ÂraNyakas are authoritative in presentation; even the most advanced and esoteric speculation is positively stated, as an exegetical truism. The early UpaniSads, with their dialogue form, the personal imprint of the teacher, the questioning and admissions of innocence -- or claims of knowledge -- from the students, seem to reintroduce some of the uncertainties of the late RV, give the sense that the ideas are indeed speculation, different attempts to frame solutions to real puzzles.

Still, certain new doctrines emerge. The changing view of the late BrâhmaNa authors on the fate of man after death (punarm®tyu) has already been noted. These views have to be taken up in more detail now as they are closely linked with the emergence of the "classical" doctrine of rebirth, reincarnation and karma.

There is no lack, it is true, of studies on rebirth and reincarnation (Hastings 1909-1921, Kane 1962, Head and Cranston 1967, Horsch 1971, Werner 1977, O'Flaherty 1981b, Tull 1989, Göhler 1990 to name but a few). Nearly all of them, however, fail to study these concepts in their proper setting, that is by asking: what happens, in the view of Vedic people, at conception, at birth, and at death to a human being?

It is interesting to note, and consistent with the system that all men are reborn within a cycle of eternal return already in the older Vedic texts. No one wants to escape this cycle, as one indeed wishes to do in later, post-Vedic Hinduism. We do not yet witness the concept of a sannyâsin who wants to leave the system. In fact, the ones who "escape" are precisely those who have committed some obvious actions that undermine this closed system: murderers of embryos, of the brahmins' cow, etc.: that is destroyers of the "line of progeny" (prajâtantu TU 1.11, KaThS’iU 11) and of poetic inspiration (dhî, dhenâ), the "cow" (dhenu) of the Brahmins. Such persons (in later language, the mahâpâtaka) fall out of the system and drop into "deepest darkness", into the lap of Nir®ti. At this location outside the Vedic cosmos there is no food but only polluted nail clippings and drinks of blood, there is no light at all (a term for bliss: Kuiper 1964), and there are no sons: These persons are doomed to oblivion. The idea is nicely summed up in the well known episode (Mahâbhârata 1.41) of Jaratkâru and his ancestors, who hang on a thin thread over a deep well and are threatened with falling into it if he does not produce a son who can carry out the required ancestor worship.

The concept of karma, however, is new. The texts themselves indicate this at least once when ChU 5.3.7 says that it was known only to the KSatriyas (but cf. BÂU 2.1.15, KauSU 4.19), and in BÂU Yâjñavalkya takes his fellow brahmin Jâratkârava Ârthabhâga 3.2.13 away from the discussion ground at Janaka's court to talk with him in private about karma. Apparently, the idea was not very "popular" (pace O'Flaherty, 1981, introd.) at all, at first. This is apparent even in later texts, such as the beginning of the Bhagavadgîta which still defends the kula-dharma of a KSatriya family as the norm, in this case, the duty of a KSatriya to fight and kill. Precisely this point is stressed by a god, K®SNa, as to prompt Arjuna to action.

It is clear that by the late BrâhmaNa / ÂraNyaka period a concern had developed that linked the older BrâhmaNa concept of cause and effect with the newly expressed anxiety about another death after leaving this world, and the new (or only newly attested) fear of a "reverse world" with retribution for one's actions towards living beings. This sets the stage (H.-P. Schmidt 1968b) for the development of a consistent theory of automatic retribution in one's next life according to the actions (karma) undertaken in this one.

The idea that it was the KSatriyas who introduced this concept thus seems rather far-fetched. Nevertheless it has had and still has its adherents (e.g. Horsch 1966). As briefly indicated above, we rather have to see the introduction of the topic by a king, or the secretive conference by Yâjñavalkya about its as literary devices (cf. Witzel, forthc. b) which indicate the importance of the theme for the late Vedic texts. Note also that the role a woman, Gârgî, plays in the UpaniSads is quite similar: Women usually do not appear in such public assemblies of learned disputation. When they do so, they stand out as very special persons. For example, the other prominent woman in the later Veda, Maitreyî, is precisely the one of Yâjñavalkya's two wives who had learnt Brahmanical lore, and therefore it is only to her that he speaks about eschatology (BÂU 4.5.15).

Similarly, the idea that it was the Jainas, the aboriginals, etc. who "invented" these ideas is, of course, nothing more than saying "we do not know" with other words (O'Flaherty, 1982). There simply are no early records of the Jainas and even less of the aboriginal inhabitants of Northern India.

Several factors thus come together and lead to a qualitative breakthrough, which results in the new karmic rebirth idea and in the assertion of the identity of the human soul (âtman) with that of bráhman (neuter) in such famous sentences as tat tvam asi (BÂU). Vedic thought quite naturally led to this stage, -- though the outcome was not necessarily the one we find in the UpaniSads. Indeed, the Pali canon (Dîghanikâya 2) bears witness to a whole range of more or less contemporary points of view on the topics as treated in the early UpaniSads.

The cycle of automatic rebirths (see above) is now broken for the first time: The ascetics of the time of the older UpaniSads (e.g. Yâjñavalkya when he "went forth into homelessness" BÂU 4.5.15) and the contemporaries of the Buddha strive for emancipation that frees them from the saπsâra of rebirth (whether already connected with karma or not). Until this time, it was only the lot destined for felons who had committed severe offenses (see above). Now famous persons such as Yâjñavalkya can leave home forever to strive for the knowledge of brahman. The traditional society quite consequently regarded them as socially "dead" once they had left, and did not allow for a return. The texts (KaTha S’ruti Up., Mânava S’rautasûtra 8.25, an appendix, see Sprockhoff 1987) have a ritual of taking leave from home and all one's possessions while declaring non-violence to all beings and taking refuge with, indeed invoking the protection of the wild animals.

The question may be asked why this happened precisely at this moment, and in this area of Northern India (as the texts indicate, in the east of the Vedic area, in Kosala and Videha, N. Bihar). The breakthrough is similar to the ones which other major civilizations made at about the same time - even if the idea of an "axial age" is impossible due to severe incongruencies in the actual time frame. Indeed, external influence is not likely, unless one posits some Iranian influence. After all, Zoroaster was the first who stressed the personal decision, made by individuals: one had to chose between "good" and "evil" and had to face a last judgment after death.

The Kosala-Videha area was one of great mixture of peoples due to various movements of tribes and individuals, and consequently also of ideas (Witzel 1989a: 236). Furthermore, it was a quasi-colonial territory of the more western, Kuru-Pañcâla based Vedic orthopraxy. It may very well be that even some later immigrants such as the Malla, or especially the S’âkya, in fact are Iranian tribes. If so, they may have brought with them some (para-)Zoroastrian influence as well. It is not without interest that it is in the late S’B that the idea of the weighing on a scale the good and bad deeds first occurs. In any case, the area was one of admixture of local MuNDa people (AB 7.18), of older Eastern Indo-Aryan settlers, and of various immigrants; it also saw a mixture of the older, para-Vedic Indo-Aryan religion of the East with the orthodoxy and orthopraxy of the new immigration of missionary Kuru-Pañcâla Brahmins of the west, coming at the invitation of such kings as Mahâkosala and (Mahâ)-Janaka of Videha (see Witzel 1989a). These developments and the emergence of large kingdoms such as those of Kosala and Magadha set the stage.

This area and time, we believe, supplied the ideal ferment for the meeting of ideas and the development of new concepts. Just as the break-up of the old tribal society of the ®gveda saw strikingly new developments in ritual and the emergence of the Brahmanical pre-scientific science of homologies, the new stratified and partly aristocratic, partly oligarchic society (not a "republican", as always is alleged, since Rhys-Davies 1911) of the East witnessed the emergence of many of the typically UpaniSadic ideas described above.

It should also not be forgotten that it is at this time, around 500/400 BCE, perhaps slightly later than the early UpaniSads seem to allow, that the so-called second urbanization (i.e. after the Indus civilization) begins to shape Northern India. The Vedic texts hardly, if ever, speak about towns, - Brahmins indeed do not like the polluting social atmosphere of towns and rather prefer to live in the countryside where they can regulate their life properly and preserve their ritual purity in their own villages. The word for "town" (nagara, also: nagarin) occurs a few times only in late Vedic texts (Mylius 1969); the trend, however, continues: by the time of the Pali texts, cities are fully established, with rich merchants carrying out a long distance overland trade (witnessed in archaeology by the luxury article, the Northern Black Polished Ware), and brahmins live south of the Ganges in the formerly off-limits lands of Magadha and Anga.

Keeping notes on Vedic ritual

2008-01-11T22:29:04Z

...since I'm learning potentially useful bits like how to sing Agni's mantra from the Rig Veda anyway, and since it passes the time while I'm waiting to hear back about my DP tweaks. Behind the cut for lengthiness.

These from Vedic Hinduism by S. W. Jamison and M. Witzel:

The third set of participants is invisible, with the exception of the gods Soma and Agni, but not the less crucial for that fact. These are the gods, a selection of whom (varying according to the ritual) is invited to attend, offered a comfortable seat on fragrant (if somewhat hard kus’a) grass, entertained with praise and song, and given food and drink in the form of oblations: each offering in the fire is made to a particular god or set of gods, and they are urged to partake of it. The model of Vedic ritual is then that of a formal meal, ceremonial hospitality, offered to particularly worthy dignitaries. This has been stressed by Thieme 1957b, but it has hardly been observed that medieval and modern pûjâ still follow this pattern (Witzel 1980a, p.37-39, Bühnemann 1988), with its main upacâras such as âvâhana, havana / stotra, visarjana, etc.
...
Whatever the history and sources of this complex pantheon, it cannot be reduced to a single organizational principle, nor can certain members, that might not conform to such a principle, be defined as outsiders and latecomers, given that gods of various types have counterparts outside of Vedic. It is well to remember Kuiper's structural(ist) statement (1962 = 1983, p.43) on "the fundamental difficulty of understanding a single mythological figure isolated from the context of the mythological system."
...
The two great gods of later Hinduism, ViSNu and S’iva, are not at all prominent in Vedic, though they do appear there. (S’iva under his name "Rudra", and under his epithets ghora 'terrible' or simply indicated by the taboo avoidance expression asau devaH 'that god'. The name "S’iva" itself of course originated as a taboo replacement epithet 'the kindly/auspicious one' (see KaThÂ 2.100).
...

This brings us to our next question: to what extent do the mythologies of the RV, the mantra texts and the brâhmaNa texts form a unity, partly obscured by the distorting effects of literary genre and religious purpose -- and to what extent has there been a real change in the conception of the deities and their exploits? This question is, of course, parallel to the one we asked about ritual in the two text types, and it is equally difficult to answer. Given the obvious differences in content, in genre, and in purpose between mythology as presented in the mantra texts and in the brâhmaNa texts, some investigators have on principle excluded the later, prose material from comparison with the poetic evidence, while others (e.g. Sieg 1902, Jamison 1991) attempt to construct a unified picture from these different types of evidence, when they seem to reflect a similar underlying phenomenon.

On the one hand, most of the same gods are mentioned in both types of texts, and many of their characteristics and deeds are at least superficially the same. However, there are some important differences. In the general religious picture, the power of the ritual, the sacrifice, seems to have usurped some of the gods' power. Even in early Vedic men could use the ritual to manipulate or at least influence gods' behavior, as we will see; in the middle and late Vedic period the sacrifice is almost coercive and the gods subject to it -- though it does not seem to be the case that the gods are imprisoned by the sacrifice and completely controlled by it, as is sometimes claimed.

Moreover, there have been two obvious and important changes in the ranks of the deities themselves. First, the figure of Prajâpati ('Lord of creatures'), a very marginal figure in the RV, appearing only in late hymns, becomes in the prose texts the central creator god embodying the power of the ritual -- though he still lacks much personal definition. On this change, see e.g. Gonda 1984, 1986, 1989.

Second, one of the most characteristic aspects of BrâhmaNic mythology is the ceaseless rivalry between the gods (Devas) and their kin, the so-called Asuras. Perhaps hundreds of mythic episodes in Vedic prose texts begin with the sentential formula "The Devas and the Asuras were in contention". (On such formulae, see Jamison, to appear, a.) Yet in the RV the epithet asura is often used of some of the most respected of the Devas, e.g. VaruNa and Agni, and in early Iranian religion the cognate word ahura is part of the title of the most august god in the pantheon, Ahura Mazdâ 'Lord Wisdom'. The difference in treatment of the word asura in mantra and prose texts, the apparent emergence of a distinct group of supernatural beings, the Asuras, counterpoised to the gods, has been called, by Kuiper (1975, p. 112 [= 1983, p. 14]), "the central problem of Vedic religion", and has received considerable scholarly attention. (For full details of the history of the problem, see W. E. Hale 1986, Chap. 1.) For example, Kuiper himself believes that there is no real contradiction between the two textual levels: the Asuras were the primordial gods, challenged and ultimately defeated by the upstart Devas. Some Asuras joined the ranks of the Devas (the ones who receive both titles in the RV); others remained in perpetual opposition. Though such a scenario could encompass both types of evidence about the Asuras, it unfortunately finds very little support in the texts. A recent survey of the philological evidence, Hale 1986, while not producing a final answer to the question, gives us the means to achieve such a solution and to reject, as contrary to the textual evidence, a number of previous discussions of the issue.

It must not be forgotten that the fight between the Devas and the Asuras has its mundane counterpart in the ®gvedic opposition between the immigrating and spreading ârya tribes and the previous local inhabitants, the dasyu or dâsa; this opposition is later on, in the Atharvaveda and the brâhmaNa type texts replaced by that of the ârya and s’ûdra. Their opposition, in contrast to the automatically expected, not always voluntary cooperation in everyday society, is expressed frequently, most notably in the context of war and of the New Year ritual, at a time when the old order breaks down temporarily and chaos reigns among the gods and in society (cf. the Roman carnival). Vedic ritual tends to enforce the social role of deva/asura and ârya/s’ûdra precisely at these occasions (e.g. in the Mahâvrata rite).

...

As such, transubstantiated food can travel towards the gods in the form of smoke and aroma (medha) and is consumed by them. What remains here on earth is a gift by the gods who have tasted the offering while sitting at the sacred fire, soiled it by their spittle and rendered it consumable only to their socially inferior relations, the human beings: this is the remnant (ucchiSTa). It is not useless or thrown away as "soiled" food is apt to be. Instead, as especially AV extols in great detail, the "remnant" has enormous potential (cf. Malamoud 1972, Wezler 1978) in the peculiar social hierarchy that exists between men and god (deva), just as between wife and husband (deva), or between the people (prajâ) and the king (deva). "Food remnants" of the deva are "palatable" to members of "lower" social rank: i.e. men, wives, subjects. (Me: This one is saved because I had wondered if this might be one of the concepts that was post-Vedic in its origin. This would imply not.)

...

The gods of early Vedic were not the mere dutiful receivers of a set liturgy that they became in the middle Vedic period, but -- as guests at their solemn ritual reception on the offering ground -- critical connoisseurs of poetic craftsmanship and virtuosity, just as the modern Hindu gods savor the stutis and stotras addressed to them in pûjâ and other rituals. The better the hymn, the greater the reward -- to the poet from the patron, to the latter from the god.

...

The concept encompassed by ®ta is in fact quite similar to the equally untranslatable later Hindu dharma. (Me: well...maybe and maybe not, based on their own definition of rta, which reads more like Des'tai. But it's a place to start. Also saved to remind me of the whole section about "working truth" and "brahman" having an aspect very like what I have tended to call, after Marion Weinstein's example, Ma'Kheru. This appears to imply an IE equivalent, which is groovy for me.)

...
While ritual was believed to provide enough power to eliminate the evil incurred by killing (a fear noticeable already in the ®gvedic horse sacrifice), this concern now becomes more of a problem: every action has its automatic consequence and thus the killing of an animal produces "evil" ("guilt" is not appropriate, as it is a later, moral term applicable only to karmic concerns). Indeed, in the late BrâhmaNas the concept of a reversal of fortune in the other world occurs several times. (Me: Again, middle Vedic. While this isn't "karma" in the modern or especially the Western sense, you can see the concept emerging. Well! as they say themselves in the next bit....)
...
All of this may indicate that the ideas of second death (and recurrent rebirth), even of karma, are nothing but the gradual, but logical outcome of Brahmanical thought. One can see this gradual development quite clearly also in the case of the veneration of the cow (Alsdorf 1962, W. N. Brown 1978, D. Srinivasan 1979, Witzel 1991a).
...
(end of quotes)

Another section affirms my idea about having one person sing the mantras and another give the translations in English, since it mirrors the roles of two of the types of priests required in Vedic ritual. Later, the extensive use of Byzantine sets of correspondences in ritual is identified as middle Vedic (not early).

The problem of including the Upanishads in Vedic study is apparently not their late origin so much as the tendency for translators to rely on modern Hindu philosophy in interpreting the ideas, rather than referring back to the Vedic period (the Upanishads still being commentaries on the Vedas) to see what the original intent might have been.

-Rishis as the "Bardic Deity"?
-Agni as the Fire, naturally
-Soma identified with the Waters?
-Nirriti might stand as head of the Outdwellers

One never knows

2008-01-05T23:15:19Z

I've finally heard back something about my DP. Although my reader likes it a lot on the whole, she wants several things tweaked. (None of them the one I was a little nervous about based on how it went over here, and one of them something I'd also been asked to consider for Oak Leaves. Much depends on the specific reader, as always.) Nothing major, but a good little handful of nips and tucks.

So be it, at least on a day when my head is feeling clear. (Um, it's January. Yeah.) I've been running into enough strife on the teacher end of this equation not to be too quick to pull at the reins as the student. Give 'em what they want, that's what I say.

Waiting is

2007-12-19T05:34:58Z

Haven't heard back about the DP yet. No background for knowing whether this is a good, bad, or indifferent sign. Hmm hmm hmm.

I have, however - lest you think I am doing nothing - written a snazzy paper for Philosophy of Religion, defending polytheism against its dismissal by Swinburne. Got an A, it did. Maybe I could use it for the Critical Thinking bit in the GP, or something. And, you know, I go to Holy Days and do my meditations and all.

Hmm hmm hmm.

Waiting game

2007-11-17T00:16:30Z

I have no idea how long to expect it to take before I hear back about my DP. Mailed it, um, the 5th I think.

Bardics are saying "We're about to change the training (as, indeed, we have been for the entire time you've known about us, but now we REALLY MEAN IT!) so you might want to do the Bardic class in the GP first." I do not know whether I am cleared for takeoff for the GP. Hmm hmm hmm.

Kind of a shame I can't just do the old reqs. I could probably do half of them right now. Well, I'll just wait.

Waitwaitwait.

I hate waiting.

I could give you my word as a Spaniard...?

Dedicant Oath!

2007-11-04T19:33:12Z

My Dedicant Oath was fraught with peril. First of all, I count no fewer than seven Gods as my Patrons: Morgan/the Morrigan; Woden; Frigg; Freya; Loki; Shiva; and Kali. Moreover, I know that the last two are potentially controversial as inclusions into ADF ritual, based on conversation I have had with a couple of our Vedics. Fortunately, being the most transcendental, Shiva and Kali also tend to be the most understanding about not having Their names spoken at any particular ritual, as long as They’re getting due consideration from me at home. That problem aside, I still figured that seven or even five Patrons were a lot to make the whole Grove watch me perform for, so in my initial plan, I referred to an arrangement that They and I often use: if I am only going to name one of Them aloud, and there is no particular reason for it to be one of the others, I name the Morrigan. And as it happened, She had already put in a request for me to sing Isaac’s “Hymn to the Morrigan” as a praise offering to Her. I would do that, and the others would get quiet offerings during the general call for offerings.

Also in my original plan, my Oath was to take place at Lughnasadh. The date I had thought Awen’s Breath was holding this ritual was on the weekend before I was to leave on a trip. As it turned out, however, I was off by a week…meaning I would be gone when the ritual was held. I considered the Equinox, but I already knew that was a long shot, since it also happens to be my son’s birthday, and as I’d suspected, it turned out he didn’t want to share billing with some Druid thing in Pasadena. Of course, as it turned out, September was mostly about Pagan Pride Day events for Awen’s Breath anyway. I didn’t even think to suggest doing my Oath at our private, very late, Equinox ritual early in October. Once there, though, I mentioned these problems, and was encouraged to go forward for Samhain. Great, I thought: that would be a lovely time for the Hymn anyway.

Then, Southern California caught fire, and stayed for better than a week. Smoke drenched my voice, and for a while I didn’t know whether things would even be under control in time for the ritual not to be postponed.

At this point I started to wonder if I should be taking all these things as a sign. I pulled a rune, asking what the outlook was for me doing this Oath at all. The answer was Ing. A seed: a good beginning. I calmed myself down and went back to my plans.

As the date closed in, I realized two things: one, that the Hymn was rather long, and two, that I wasn’t sure I was in good enough voice to do it the way I wanted it done. My lead Patron kindly agreed that I didn’t have to sing it at this ritual, with the proviso that I was absolutely to sing it at the next ritual either specific to Her, or including a bardic circle. Now, though, my Senior Druid was encouraging me to go ahead and say a little something for each of my Patrons – even the controversial ones. “Please! We’re Awen’s Breath!”

I also had a little fit about Woden’s offering, which I kept changing my mind about, sometimes into extreme and preposterous things. (Burning or giving away every Tarot deck I have ever had was one example.) I started doing rune readings for clarity, and got mush. Finally, I thought to ask, “Was my original idea actually the good one?” Tir. Yes, it was absolutely right. “I’m overthinking these things, aren’t I?” Man. It’s only human, darling.

The night finally arrived for the Samhain ritual, which we were to hold indoors…which meant no dramatic tossing of my offerings into the fire. Instead I would be placing them next to the triple candle to be burned later on my behalf.

“Om namaha Shivaya. Shiva, accept my offering.” (place white carnation)

“Om krim Kalyai namaha. Kali, accept my offering.” (place red carnation)

“Frigg, frithweaver, accept my offering.” (place roving wool)

“Freya, golden one, accept my offering.” (place string of red and gold beads)

(Now, for the most prominent three, I say a little more.)

“Uncle Lucky! When I was trapped in ice, You brought me fire. I made You Odin’s oath, that I would not stay where You were unwelcome. Here I stay…and I bring You these. Loki, accept my offering.” (place horn-carved dice)

“Woden! You who prodded me back out onto the road when I thought I was comfortable! You who gave me the runes and took away my Tarot cards! I have brought a few for You. Woden, accept my offering.” (place Magician and Hermit cards)

“Morgan, my first and foremost: feathers for Your cloak. I owe You a song, which we have spoken about already. Morgan, accept my offering.” (place black feathers bound in blue cord)

“Before all of You – and before all of you, I swear this oath: that I will honor the three Kindreds and their holy Realms; that I will strive to fill myself with Their virtues; and that I will keep Their holy days. As it happens, I have been a Pagan for some time, so I have said these words before, or words very like them. So to seal this oath, I have had to up the anty to ink.” (reveal tattoo on left shoulder, to numerous appreciative noises)

“This is a triskele. For me, this symbol has always represented my relationship with Morgan: as a triple sign it also represents the Kindreds and their Realms. So: I will keep this oath for as long as I keep this skin.”

The gathering was very supportive, and a number of people wanted to see the tattoo again up close after the ritual was over. (Druid Jack thought it was amusing to give me congratulatory hugs and slaps right on top of the very fresh and stingy tattoo. Because I am ignorant of these things, another friend had to tell me afterward that this was a popular form of tattoo hazing comedy. Ha ha, Druid Jack!) The whole evening was very high-energy, and I felt that this was a good sign.

Our omens for the ritual as a whole were Holly (balance), Ash (the world-tree), and Poplar (“fear not”). Now: for me, I am practicing ADF-style Druidry as a balance for the other spiritual work I do. Because I had offered to Woden and felt He was present, I was especially happy to see Ash among the signs. Poplar relates to Aspen, a tree of personal significance to me, and the “fear not” sign (especially from Gods Who look a bit scary on the surface) resonates for me as well – so on a purely self-absorbed level, I took the omens as good.

***

And that's it, ladies and gentlemen. That's my Dedicant work. All that remains is to format and send. Then what? First Circle of Bardic, maybe. :D

Oath-writing

2007-10-10T20:32:53Z

Oh, and let's add this wrinkle. For excellence (read, if you will recall, "good enough for later programs without doing a rewrite") one of the standards listed is that you use bits of language from "the hearth culture." Well, okay...here's the thing. Some people don't choose one hearth culture. What do they do? Me, I usually play the bit that my hearth culture is Saxon, because that's sort of a default position for me. But my main Patron is the Morrigan (it's not Her fault the majority of my top tier is Norse rather than more Celts), and here lately the Vedics (by my slightly controversial definition) and Hellenes are making a push again. I'm pan-IE at heart, I think.

And anyway, the rite I'm invading is going to be Celtic, I believe. If so, the Grove already has some canned phrases I'll be able to use in choice spots, but in that case does it really deserve to count in my favor that I use them?

After the Oath...

2007-10-10T19:58:38Z

I'm thinking Bardic next. In theory I could make pretty quick work of the first circle, at least. Probably not going to start worrying about Initiate vs. Clergy Program for a while, since I have "mundane" school to worry about for that kind of work. I'm hoping (after seeing one of my lj friends have to have a freakout about this) that most of my Ded work will be up to par for those anyway, though, so that I won't have to go back and do any of those assignments over again later, since I am probably going to want to end up in either Initiate or Clergy eventually. I'm just a training junkie.

Back on track

2007-10-10T19:44:52Z

So! I made it to a Grove ritual again for the first time since I joined it, and now I'm scheduled to do my Dedicant Oath at Samhain. (This is way appropriate for me for any number of reasons, including the fact that I've been "poked" to sing Ian's "Hymn to the Morrigan" as my offering to Mum before I do the Oath.)

Now...we're back to the problem of writing the text of the Oath itself. I'm spared writing the whole ritual, which is nice. (Do I need to include the rest of the ritual in the report anyway? Or just the Oath part?) I do kind of keep coming back to the question of "What exactly am I promising that I haven't already promised years ago?" And how important is it to have some sort of emblem to put on and wear or whatever? Is that "law" or "custom," that? (And how serious are my Peeps about this recurring suggestion of a triskele tattoo to fulfill this bit?)

Eep!

But dude...I can see it from here!

2007-10-03T18:09:35Z

So that just leaves us with the Dedicant Oath. Just the freakin' Dedicant Oath, man! Why is it now impossible for me to make it to anything with the Grove I finally joined and get this one last thing done!? Huh?? (Okay, technically, I could make it to the next thing, probably, if it wasn't private. I don't drive. Yes, shameful in this day and age. But it makes it hard to make it to things that your normal "homeys" aren't part of if they're not public. I'm going to be working on it soon, since I also need to have a license by the time I start graduate school proper, so I can, you know, get there in a timely manner for classes. Little things like that. Meanwhile, though, it's an issue.)

Just the Dedicant Oath, and then I could turn all this stuff in. Just that one last thing. Sheesh.

Meditation essay!

2007-10-03T18:05:22Z

Does it need anything else? Do I look covered?

Meditation Essay

I must say, to begin, that I’d already had meditative and devotional routines in place when I began this assignment. The most consistent of these are a morning anointing and recitation of short prayers to my Patron Deities (since joining ADF I have added a general for the Kindreds: “Hail to the great Gods and Goddesses; Hail to my ancestors and the spirits of this place”), and a second short series of evening prayers.

To these routines I added a rather ambitious formal meditation, which was essentially most of the Core Order of Ritual played out in the context of meditating. I would get out all my ritual tools, do the Two Powers, make my various announcements and offerings, and then actually get down to the business of meditating. Usually this would be some time spent chanting “Alu,” which is a traditional formula in Germanic magical tradition, followed by a recitation of an ADF rosary I made with beads representing the Kindreds and the Nine Virtues. After this was finished I would take a runic omen, and then go through all the normal ritual-closing gestures.

After I had been doing this for a while, I also brought in yet another element that I had learned from work with a Tantric teacher, that of blessing the meditation seat before I begin. The blessing I was taught was easy to transform into something ADF-compatible by exchanging certain abstractions for the Kindreds: so now, drawing a triangle or triskele on my cushion, I say, “I seat myself in the wisdom of my ancestors; I seat myself in the wisdom of the Nature Spirits; I seat myself in the wisdom of the Shining Ones.” This has been nice for setting the tone at the beginning of the session.

I have found that this process taken all together makes for a very powerful and mind-altering session. Having fully established connection to the other Worlds and to the Kindreds at the beginning of meditating really adds a depth and intensity to the experience that one doesn’t necessarily reach simply by breathing or chanting alone (at least not so quickly). But, for example, once I have done a full ritual opening to begin the session, the chanting portion has led me into experiences such as a fairly vivid encounter with an antlered god. By the time I draw the runes I am normally able not only to read them but to make direct contact with allies in each of the Kindreds in order to get more clarification on their meaning. So this has also developed into a useful tool for improving my communication with the Kindreds. Going through this full, formal meditation is always a pleasant and deepening journey, to which I cheerfully look forward. It also actually served as a useful tool for learning the Core Order of Ritual, because I had incorporated so many elements of it into the meditation.

However – and perhaps this will be obvious from the outside, as it is obvious in retrospect – all of this taken together makes for a very long and intense experience. It is certainly not something I could manage every day, unless perhaps I was able to devote the time to become a full-time mystic, which while sometimes tempting just isn’t possible for me now. It takes a bit of doing to manage it even on a weekly basis, simply because I have invested it with so much ritual and so many parts. For my regular practice, therefore, I have taken to breaking out smaller bits for more frequent use.

For example, I will practice the Two Powers by itself when I want to feel connected to the Three Worlds in preparation for any sort of working. There is a style of pranic breathing – the cycle of breathing in through one nostril and out through the other – that I will do for a few minutes at any time that I need to come back to myself and be more grounded. Since this breath works on the concept of “solar” and “lunar” currents through the body, I have sometimes combined this breathing with the Two Powers, using the “lunar” current to carry me to the Well and the “solar” current to carry me up toward the celestial Fire: this has been good for energy-raising and shifting toward ritual consciousness as well. I am trying to perform at least the pranic breathing on a daily basis now, which makes it the piece I most frequently use as of right now. The Two Powers I will use before teaching a class or before magical workings, which means that on average I use it once or twice a week.

I will also do the ADF rosary by itself – and this is the one tool I will carry with me when I travel, to represent my ADF hallows and serve as a focal point for this style of work when I’m not home with all my normal toys. The rosary has a bead for each of the three Kindreds, each followed by its own set of nine for the virtues: three white, three red, and three black. The “home” bead is a tree pendant. How often I do the rosary seems to vary over time: I use it more during times when my other ways of accessing the Kindreds are limited for some reason. Right now I am not using it as often as the pranic work or the Two Powers, but I would actually like to change that, because of the way that the rosary encapsulates my connections to the Kindreds, the Worlds, and the virtues. I am going to aim for restoring it to at least a weekly practice on its own.

Not dead yet! Only a flesh wound!

2007-09-23T18:01:23Z

I suppose I should have the decency of updating here, since not all of you read my other lj. School's going well, and I'm in conversation with Cal State Long Beach to create an interdisciplinary Master's degree out of classes from Religious Studies and Classics (and maybe an occasional visit to Philosophy, we'll see). I'm really excited about the possibility that they'll actually let me do this - what I'm creating is essentially a Religious Studies Master's with an emphasis on Greek Polytheism. Hee!

In ADF news, I haven't seen my grove lately because September is always the month of a thousand obligations for me, so I still have to figure out how/when I'm going to get my oath ritual performed. And write my @#$% meditation essay. That's it. It's all waiting on those two things. It seems silly to me to be stalled out this close to being done, but you know...gotta actually do the ritual. And knowing that I don't have a date for that seems to stall me out on writing the last essay, because I know there's no rush to do that when there's still something else keeping me from turning in my work. :P

Where Estara done gone?

2007-08-23T22:00:52Z

Well, I'm back from vacation, but some things have changed. Originally when I finished the DP, I was going to jump right in with some work on other ADF courses, but what actually happened was that reading Real Books for that (with the addition of "A World Full of Gods" by Greer, which convinced me that I didn't hate philosophy as much as I'd always assumed I did) got me all worked up again about going to graduate school, and I started looking around at what I would have to do to get there.

So, long story short, I'm taking a couple of classes at a nearby community college to start laying the groundwork for going back for my Master's in either ancient history or (slightly more likely at this point) religious studies. So that's where the bulk of my academic energy is going. It's still with the ultimate purpose of improving me as a priestess and, dare I say it, a Druid, but it's gone in a slightly different direction for the moment.

Lammas 2 Observance

2007-08-02T18:16:51Z

For my ADF Lammas ritual, I had planned to attend with Awen’s Breath, thinking it was going to take place the weekend before I left for vacation: instead, unfortunately, it turned out to be scheduled for the next weekend, while I would be away. Because of this, I ended up doing a fairly quiet solitary version. The thing about ADF Core is, and I haven’t decided whether this is ultimately good or bad, that having already adopted so much of it into my meditation practice in a stripped-down form, it is possible to do a full solitary ritual that feels essentially like an unusually formal meditation session. This was particularly true because, lacking the group and thus the impetus to do something like games or baking, I ended up making my solitary Lammas essentially a prolonged set of praise offerings to my main set of Patrons (which has grown to seven – convenient, at least, in terms of giving everyone Their own day of the week). The core order is becoming comfortable and familiar now, easy to flow with without looking up what comes next too often. I turned to Woden as my Gatekeeper, as will probably be my habit, and that worked well. With the full-scale ritual in place I could feel the energies moving through more strongly than I have before.

The runes I pulled were Othala, Sowilo, and Raidho. I took these not only as good signs in themselves but also, hopefully, a good set for blessings on the family trip we will be embarking on the day after this ritual – safety both for the home and for those of us leaving it for a while.

...And with that, I'm done with Holy Day reports. :D Now it'll just be writing up the meditation paper and finding a new date for the Oath when I come home from vacation. Yay!

Lammas

2007-07-30T19:53:07Z

(I'm not dead yet! Only a flesh wound!)

In modern practice Lammas (or Lughnasadh) is the first of the three harvests, the time for harvesting the grain. It is connected with the idea of John Barleycorn, whose reaping gives us bread and beer, and the sacrifice of the Year King so that the people can live through the winter. (In some traditions this concept is attached to Samhain instead.) In ancient Ireland, this was a time for games held in honor of Lugh’s foster-mother, Tailltiu, and for trial marriages. The name Lughnasadh comes from this connection to Lugh: Lammas comes from “loaf-mass” and is the medieval English name for this tide. In Scandinavian culture this was the season for the Thingtide, a gathering to determine laws and judge court cases: that said, it is not universally acknowledged in modern Asatru as a holy tide, though some do celebrate it in deference either to Tyr, ruling God of the Thing, or to Frey, to whom John Barleycorn is a servant. Also near this date, the ancient Greeks would be celebrating the Kronia, honoring Kronos as a God of the grain harvest: as with the differently-timed Roman Saturnalia, this rite would feature feasting and a temporary relaxing of social rules in deference to the chaos that preceded the divine order.

Resources:

The Biblioteca Arcana: http://www.cs.utk.edu/~mclennan/BA/index.html

Personal recollection and experience.
Wodening, Swain. Hammer of the Gods.

Houston, we have a problem....

2007-07-16T21:11:17Z

According to a recent post to the list, Awen's Breath is no longer doing Lammas on July 28 but rather on August 4. As you may recall, Plan A was to do my Dedication Oath at this ritual.

Am I in town on July 28? Yes. Am I in town on August 4? No, I am not.

Oops!

It may end up having to happen at the Equinox instead, or without Awen's Breath (though that would be too bad, given that I changed my affiliation and all). Probably the former rather than the latter. We'll see.

Still on the face of the Earth

2007-07-13T00:22:40Z

I'm not gone...I'm just having a really woolly month. :P

Workin' on my oath and stuff.

Well. Now we're serious.

2007-07-02T15:39:51Z

"I'm almost done with my DP," I said to the Lovely Awen's Breath Druids.

"That's a lot of work," they said appreciatively, and then, "You know, that means you should do the whole Lughnasa ritual yourself! We can all grade you!" and "Of course Modig will give you a free pass if you do it naked." And then the discussion dissolved into Meredith's favorite Ron White routines (starting with "naked women: when you've seen one, you want to see the rest of them").

Which seemed to imply an interest, as I had hoped. I wasn't formally affiliated with a Grove even though there is more than one at least vaguely local to me, but Awen's Breath had become my favorite because they are ~~also weirdos~~ jovial and friendly to me. And since my one Sometimes Problematical Main God had been invoked by name at the ritual we'd just finished, I was now pretty sure my relationship with Him wasn't going to stir up any last minute issues. But still, I wasn't an affiliate, and I didn't feel right just horning in on a public ritual. So I played it safe.

When another chance came around, I said, "I'm not a member of Awen's Breath, but if I invited y'all to my Dedicant Oath, would you come?"

And Meredith said, "Um, honey...why don't you do it here?"

So: I have a Grove. (I have set my affiliation as of today.) I have a date for the ritual (they'd happened to schedule it for the weekend before I leave for vacation rather than after, so that works out suspiciously well). I have most of my special offerings collected.

Now I just need an Oath. Heh.

The interesting and peculiar thing about the Oath, for me, is that basically what I'm being asked to promise the Kindreds is the work of 15-20 years ago. I will keep the Holy Days: I will pay attention to You. Yep. They know all that already; it's just ADF that doesn't. So in essence it's for the People rather than the Kindreds, only it's supposed to be written as if it's for the Kindreds and not the People. Which makes it an interesting exercise. (Or not. I'm probably completely overthinking it, like I'll do.)

Also, no offense...

2007-06-28T18:32:32Z

...but many of the arguments made by the officers of our Vedic contingent against association with Hinduism ("I don't believe in karma...I believe in karman! Totally different!") sound like nothing so much as the kind of agitated and ultimately short-sighted bickering that goes on between different, say, Christian denominations, wanting to draw lines between who's In and who's Out. Disagree with the interpretations modern Hinduism makes of Vedic texts all you want, but the fact remains that it still begins with Vedic texts and interpretations thereof. And that makes it family.

MNSHO, YMMV, etc.